A year ago, I finally talked myself into going to a Weight Watchers meeting. If it wasn't $42 a month, I would probably still go. (For anyone wondering, the $42 IS worth it...especially to get started on your weight loss.) I loved going to the meetings and hearing everyone else's troubles and triumphs for the week. It was so inspiring to see ladies who had already lost 75 pounds and still going. Ever since I stopped going to the meetings, my weight has pretty much been at a standstill. (up, down, up, down) Weight Watchers definitely does work!
My life before Weight Watchers, was so different. It was quite sad, honestly. I hated the way I looked and felt. I've said before, it was a miracle if I actually changed out of my pajamas and fixed my hair. To me, no matter what I did to "fix up" really made that much difference since I was a sloppy fatass already. I never went shopping. I wasn't even interested in what "trends" were in because I didn't think I could pull them off anyway. I remember the summer before last. I bought 2 pairs of knee length cargo-ish style shorts. These 2 pairs of shorts and a big t-shirt are what I lived in that summer. For some reason, I just assumed my life in cute clothes was over. That wasn't like me at all..before I was a fatty anyway. I used to try to convince myself to "just be happy" eating crap food and barely moving my body at all from the couch. My happiness came from eating a Tostino's pizza, potato chips, and watching TV while Mackenna napped. I've never doubted Darren's love for me. But, when I wasn't happy with myself, when he complimented me I was SURE he was just saying it to be nice. I mean...greasy hair and fat rolls overflowing from HIS sweatpants (on my body) was far from beautiful. I was so far from happy.
Around 175 lbs. 2 months before I decided to lose weight.
Mackenna was trying to help me. She's saying "Hey mama, lemme bite one of dem ROLLS offa dat quadruple chin!"
After about 3 or 4 months in Weight Watchers, I lost a noticeable amount of weight. When I went shopping for the first time again, I was so excited! I didn't look half bad in most things I tried on again! Slowly, my confidence came back; in how clothes fit me and every other aspect of my life. I started wanting to actually leave my house. That's when I also started selling Tastefully Simple. I would have never had the confidence before, to stand in front of 20 ladies, trying to sell them food, out of all things. It really is sad to admit that just being thin(er) has had so much influence on my life.
For anyone who has followed me since I started this boring blog, (all 5 of y'all!) those are the reasons I chose to name my blog "Thin Again Jenn" at first. Being fat completely made me a different person. Maybe that's a sad thing to admit, but it's so true.
Today, I've lost a little over 20 pounds. I know, I could have done so much better in a whole year's time. And maybe you're wondering why in the world 20 pounds would impact me so much, but it has. I actually have a pretty small frame. Yes, that's a good thing to most people. But... that just means when I have extra fat...I'm a lot more fluffy than most people. Does that make sense? Think of a big ball of slimy fat. The larger the surface area, the more thinly it could be squashed and spread out. With a small surface area, the same size ball of slimy fat will be more concentrated and pushed upwards (or outwards...however your visualization may be.)
But now, for the most part...I'm happy. Yes, I'd like to lose about 20 MORE..and I WILL before this summer. I guess I've just been so caught up in being happy again...I've just been okay with being at this weight. However, I am ECSTATIC that I've kept off the weight I did lose. FOR AN ENTIRE YEAR! (well...since I started, at least!) It's a great feeling to know I can do something. Something I've failed at a handful of times before.
YAY FOR THAT!